


Everything Changes

by thismidnight



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 07:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thismidnight/pseuds/thismidnight
Summary: A follow up to the end of 2x11, where Nick is the one who pulled up in the car at the end of the episode.





	Everything Changes

 

> _what i thought was so permanent fades_  
>  _in the blink of an eye, there’s a new life in front of my face_  
>  _and i know in due time every right thing will find its right place_  
>  _so i swear i’ll remember to say we were both born today_  
>  _cause everything’s changed_

  


Four gunshots.

 

He hears the reports come in, crackling and loud, over the walkie talkie. His vision goes black around the edges as he fumbles for the device, hurrying to be the first to call out that he’s responding. There are extra patrols in the area, he’s listened closely to the radio chatter on his drive, and he doesn’t want anymore trouble. There’s been enough of that today. He presses the gas pedal harder into the floor, tightening his grip on the steering wheel as the car accelerates down the snowy road. He doesn’t think about the dull ache on his temple where he’d been hit earlier, or the patches of black ice he knows could be on the asphalt. His mind is already five miles up the road.

 

_I’m coming back. Hang on._

 

* * *

 

She closes her eyes as she hears the door creak open, pulling the baby closer to her. They’ll probably only have a few seconds left together now, she imagines more Guardians like the ones who took Nick earlier are on their way in, they’ll take the baby, order her to get dressed and to the car, and that’ll be it. She kisses the top of Holly’s head again and breathes her in, holding on as long as she can.

 

But then there’s a familiar voice, calling out from the entryway, unclear and uncertain. Her eyes flutter open. Is she dreaming? It’s not possible. She’d heard the gunshot earlier, she’d seen him loaded up into that back of that SUV, his body limp and lifeless. Dead weight. She stays silent in case it’s just her brain playing tricks on her, trying to give her one of the only other things she wants right now. She closes her eyes again as the door clicks closed and heavy footsteps, just one set of them, start slowly into the house.

 

The person speaks again, but this time she’s sure. It’s Nick’s voice, clear as day, from the hallway. “June?”

 

She doesn’t have time to call out for him because as she opens her eyes he’s rounding the corner into the room, his hand on the pistol at his hip. Relief floods through her as he stops short, surveying the scene in front of him, his jaw dropping open, stunned into silence. His hand falls from the gun to hang limp at his side as he takes slow, tentative steps into the room towards her, unable to take his eyes off her and the baby, like if he does they both might vanish. She remembers the way he’d looked the morning she’d told him she was pregnant and she smiles, her eyes watery. She thought she’d never see him again.

 

“Nick,” she whispers his name, like she needs to speak him into reality, looking up at him as he comes over to them. He kneels down next to June and swallows hard as he takes her in, takes the baby in. He’s got a bruise on his right cheek, high, near his eye, but other than that, he appears unharmed. He glances away from them at the blood soaked sheet she’d moved from earlier and he goes pale.

 

“Are you okay?” His voice is soft as he speaks, but she can hear an undercurrent of fear in his tone. He’s just found his way back to her - to them, now - and he can’t bear the thought of anything being wrong.

 

“I’m okay,” she whispers, as his gaze falls onto the baby. “She’s okay too,” she answers his unasked question and he exhales shakily as the corners of his mouth finally turn up into a smile. She _._ A baby girl. A daughter. He looks at June, tears springing up in the corners of his eyes as he drops all the way to the floor, words failing to find him.

 

“What about you?” June rubs her thumb on the back of Holly’s head as she looks at Nick’s face, almost afraid to hear the answer. She can see the bruise, but what about the gunshot? She knows what she heard. She remembers what she saw. What injury is he fighting through to be here?

 

He shakes his head. “I’m fine. That doesn’t matter anymore.” But it does matter. He matters. She’d thought he was gone. They’d come looking for him, asking questions. Something happened.

 

“Nick, I heard the gun,” she says, willing her to voice to stay level. “I saw them load you up. What happened?”

 

He exhales sharply through his nose. “It was just a patrol unit. Two young guys, eager for action, they saw the tire tracks and came to investigate. The one was trigger happy. I knocked the gun away, but the other guy hit me, knocked me out.” He touches his face where the bruise has formed. “They took me in and we cleared everything up, they let me go.” He looks at her seriously. “I’m okay,” he states, alleviating any concerns she still held onto.

 

She closes her eyes and exhales the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, nodding. He’s fine. They’re fine. There’s no immediate danger. Holly starts to fuss and she opens her eyes, leaning closer to her, kissing her forehead. “It’s okay,” she whispers against her skin and Holly calms again. She lets her lips linger against the baby’s forehead as she looks up at Nick, a smile back on his face, awestruck.

 

“Do you want to see her?” He looks almost stunned as he nods, like he’s trying to snap himself out of a fantasy and back to reality. She knows he probably never seriously imagined they’d have an opportunity like this, much like she hadn’t either. Gilead tried to take so much from her, from them, but in spite of everything, they get this. She gets this.

 

The blanket she’d used to cover herself and the baby starts to slip off as she adjusts herself, sitting up as her body screams in protest. Everything is sore. Her bare skin starts to pebble once it meets the cold air, the fire she’d lit no match for the sting of winter in the air, and before she knows it, Nick’s leaned up, shrugging out of his winter coat and draping it over her shoulders. It’s warm and it smells faintly of smoke and the soap he keeps in his shower and she loves the feeling of it, of being surrounded by him. Holly starts fussing in earnest as June tries to settle herself; she’s still covered by the blanket but she needs more protection from the night air.

 

“I need to wrap her up. Can you go see if there’s a quilt or something?” June asks Nick as she scoops Holly up, cradling her against her body, the warmth from her skin and Nick’s jacket offering a temporary solution as the baby’s fussing levels off. Without hesitation Nick springs to his feet and disappears into the dark house. He’s only gone a few minutes, and when he comes back, he’s down to his shirt and tie and there’s not a blanket but his black sweater in his hands.

 

“I… I couldn’t find anything. Just a bunch of tarps.” He holds out his sweater. “Will this work?”

 

The tears sting in June’s eyes again as she nods at Nick, willingly sacrificing the clothes off his own back for her and their daughter. “Yeah, that’ll work.”

 

He crosses the room and hands her the sweater, sitting down next to her on the floor again. Again, she can still feel his warmth on it as she lays it on the floor and then Holly on top of it. She starts fussing again at being exposed to the cold.

 

“I know, I’m sorry it’s cold, but it’s okay,” June whispers to her as she wraps her small body carefully in the soft fabric. “You’re okay.” She picks the baby up and cradles her against her as she quiets back down, warm and secure again, now wrapped tightly in her father’s sweater. She glances up at Nick who scoots closer to them, the same overwhelmed expression on his face from before as he looks down at the baby, really taking her in for the first time.

 

“I named her Holly,” June says softly, not taking her eyes off Nick, his focus now on their daughter. “After my mom,” she continues, watching as his face changes, his eyes wrinkling in the corners as a smile spreads across his face.

 

“I love it,” he replies earnestly, finally looking up at June, a smile crossing her face to match his. She can’t recall a time she’s ever seen him smile like this. “It’s perfect.”

 

“Do you want to hold her?” June asks and while his smile doesn’t falter, his eyes widen before he nods tightly, unsure of himself, anxious, like his head and his heart aren’t on the same page. June smiles as she shifts so she can pass  Holly into his arms, remembering how this is all new to him.

 

“I’ve never done this before,” he breathes out shakily as June settles Holly into the crook of his arm, making little noises as the shuffle disturbs her. “Held a baby,” he clarifies.

 

“You’re doing good,” June reassures him as she leans back, running her hand over Holly’s head, now fully settled against her father. She pulls his coat tightly around her and watches Nick look at their daughter. His smile has somehow gotten wider and again she can see tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

 

“Hi Holly,” he whispers to the baby as she blinks up at him, making content little noises. One of her arms breaks free from under the sweater and Nick offers her his index finger, her little hand wrapping around it and holding tight. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

 

June leans into him, pressing her cheek against his arm. “She looks like you,” she observes and that finally draws his attention away from the baby. She shifts her eyes up to him as he looks down at her, shaking his head.

 

“No, she looks just like you.” He looks back down at Holly. “She has your eyes.”

 

“Well, she’s gonna have your hair,” June counters as Nick cuts his eyes to the side to look at her again as she smiles, shrugging. It’s a fact he can’t argue with, the hints of dark hair already evident on top of her head. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he focuses back on Holly, finally starting to drift off to sleep in his arms.

 

She smiles as she watches him, fighting back tears again. She’d never once doubted how much he loved their baby, from the moment he’d reassured her it wasn’t terrible so many months ago, she’d known he’d do anything for her, for their child. And he had. Repeatedly he’d risked his own life and limb to help her, to help ensure a better future for their baby, in spite of the many obstacles thrown in their way. Her chest tightens as she watches and listens to him whisper promises to their sleeping daughter; promises of a better life, that he’ll always be there for her, that he too refuses to let her grow up in this hellhole.

 

She scoots closer, exhausted and sore, pressing herself into him, closing her eyes. He wraps his free arm around her, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. She knows they’ll have to face reality before long, that they’ll have to go back. She knows that this moment can’t last forever, but she’ll hold onto it until they get to the next one. And as her eyes flutter open, taking in Nick’s determined yet content expression and Holly’s sleeping face, she smiles.

 

Things will change. For her. For them.

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! this was actually floating around in my head before the episode even aired, i started thinking well maybe i could write a fic where nick came and found them. and then the episode literally handed me the opportunity on a silver platter and i knew it was a sign.
> 
> anyway, i hope everyone enjoyed this little bit of of mushy goodness. as always, i'm splitscreen on tumblr and feedback means the world to me, it inspires me to keep going. :)


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